Practicing Self-Compassion: Being kind to ourselves and embracing imperfections

Why am I kinder to strangers than to myself?
Over the years I have started to notice that I am far nicer and more polite to strangers than my inner voice is to myself! There is a quiet kind of strength in learning to be gentle with ourselves. It’s something I’m still working on, and if I’m honest, there are days where it feels easier to extend patience and kindness to a stranger than to look in the mirror and do the same to myself.

What is self-compassion, really?
On reflection and at its core, self-compassion is simply this: treating ourselves with the same warmth and understanding we so willingly offer others. It’s not about ignoring our flaws or pretending everything is awesome – it’s about meeting ourselves where we’re at, without judgement.

The perfectionism trap
For most of my life, and I have only realised this in recent years, I’ve worn the badge of ‘perfectionist’ like it was something to be proud of – and in some ways, it served me well. I worked hard, was successful in my pursuits, ticked the boxes, pushed myself. However, behind that drive was often exhaustion, always self-doubt, a brutal inner critic and always the thought when will someone call me out for being an imposter?

Recovering and reframing
These days, I like to say I’m a recovering perfectionist. I still catch myself trying to get everything just right, but I’m learning to pause, take a breath, and remind myself: I am enough, just as I am.

Letting go of the picture-perfect life
Many of us spend so much time striving – to be better, to do more, to get it right. But life isn’t a perfect picture. It’s messy, it’s real, just as we are. Embracing our imperfections doesn’t mean settling for less, not trying or giving up; it means accepting ourselves with all our beautiful flaws and doing our best anyway without burning the candle at both ends.

The power of a kinder inner voice
Now I find myself listening to how I speak to myself and thinking: Would I say those things to someone I love? A few years back, that question stopped me in my tracks. I realised my inner dialogue was far more critical than I’d ever be to anyone else. That was my wake-up call.

Speaking to myself with love
These days I try to be gentle with myself and speak to myself as someone I love. I appreciate my flaws, understand they make me unique and allow me to keep striving each day for happiness, relaxation, and gratitude for the life I have. By doing this, I have one less level of stress in my life.