Is Your Partner Dealing
Are you taking care of your partner with suspected or diagnosed Borderline Personality Disorder?
Caring for your wife, husband or partner with a mental health condition can be an overwhelming and isolating experience.
You do not have to go through this alone! We have prepared some information to help you understand what your partner is going through and what you can do to help yourself.
What is Borderline Personality Disorder?
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a severe mental health condition that causes an individual to experience problems controlling emotions and impulses towards themselves and others. This condition often creates difficulty in maintaining balanced long-term relationships with family, friends and loved ones.
People with BPD fear abandonment, experience mood swings and often act impulsively, causing conflict in their relationships. They lack a clear sense of identity and seem to frequently change ‘direction’, either in their thinking or in their behaviours.
People with BPD show heightened activity in the limbic system, an area of the brain that controls fear, anger and aggression. It is estimated that around 6.5% of the Australian population experience symptoms of BPD these types of problems at any given point in time.
Symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder in Adults
Many adults who experience Borderline Personality Disorder first show symptoms during adolescence or even earlier. When this mental health condition is not detected and treated as soon as possible, children and teens can carry this condition as they grow up.
If your wife, husband and/or partner is suspected or diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, it does not mean they will experience all of the symptoms. It is important to remember that your partner can have a very different experience from another adult living with this mental health condition and therefore a specific assessment and treatment is necessary.
Common signs of Borderline Personality Disorder in adults include:
Emotional instability
- Extreme emotions/mood swings, from intense love to intense hate
- Chronic feelings of emptiness and isolation
- Explosive anger
- Difficulty expressing feelings
- Hyperactivity and restlessness
- Feeling out-of-touch with reality
- Depression
Issues with sense of self and identity
- Dysfunctional, distorted self-image
- Self-criticism and possible engagement in self-harm
- Impulsive, self-destructive behaviours such as engaging in unsafe sex and drug and alcohol abuse
- Impulse and reckless actions including shoplifting, reckless driving and uncontrollable eating
Relationship difficulties
- Fear of abandonment and difficulty tolerating being alone
- History of unstable, intense, conflict-riddled relationships
- Lack of empathy for others
What causes Borderline Personality Disorder?
- Biological or genetic factors – people with BPD show heightened activity in the limbic system, an area of the brain that controls fear, anger and aggression
- Relationships with caregivers and significant others in early childhood that were particularly problematic
- Traumatic early life experiences such as abuse, neglect, death of parents
- Stressful social circumstances including financial and work strains, midlife crisis, as well as relationship and family problems
- Difficulty in learning how to deal with emotions because of their experiences with other people, often during early childhood
Diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) can develop at a very young age and impede a child’s growth. If not properly addressed, children can carry this mental health condition to adolescence and through to adulthood.
Other symptoms from mental health conditions like Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) can also display BPD-like qualities in adults but are not necessarily part of the diagnosis for Borderline Personality Disorder. As such, it is necessary to get your wife, husband and/or partner to a GP or a psychiatrist so that they can receive appropriate professional medical help.
A diagnosis involves systematic interviews alongside ruling out other behavioural and mental health conditions. For adults to be diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), they must experience constant or periodical extreme mood changes on most days for at least 6 months.
Treatments of Borderline Personality Disorder
Psychotherapy is the best treatment for Borderline Personality Disorder, with Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) being the most recommended therapy. The focus is on developing healthy behaviours in an emotional crisis when the person defaults to unhelpful long-term behaviours such as suicidal thoughts or self-harm.
Since each adult’s case is unique, it’s best to bring your wife, husband and/or partner to a GP or a psychiatrist that specialises in treating adults. This way, the professional can get devise a holistic treatment plan that can address the medical, physical, social and emotional aspects of the mental health condition.
The therapy works with concepts such as mindfulness or being in the present moment, which help the individual to be aware of negative emotions and behaviours. It also teaches skills in how to tolerate negative emotions and how to communicate effectively with others, thus dealing with distress more effectively.
Medication can be part of the treatment plan described by the psychiatrist. If depression, anxiety or extremely distorted thinking are prevalent as part of the condition, anti-depressant or anti-psychotic medication may be prescribed.
How to help your Partner with Borderline Personality Disorder
As a partner to someone experiencing Borderline Personality Disorder, the best way to help your wife, husband and/or partner is to get them to see a GP or a Psychiatrist for professional help. You can also turn to a mental health phone line or browse online for mental health services for more information, especially if you need assistance. Along with professional medical help, you can also care for your partner or anyone experiencing mental health problems by being there for them especially when things get tough and things start falling apart.
At HelpingMinds, we can help you care for your partner by providing information about available treatment for people with BPD as well as referring you to appropriate support groups, especially for partners that need reconciliation to form a health relationship.
How to help yourself
It can be difficult for you to see your partner with Borderline Personality Disorder, especially if they are setting boundaries due to intense emotions and fear of abandonment. But you do not have to go through this alone! HelpingMinds® offers free and confidential support to Carers or to people who are caring for someone living with mental health challenges. We offer free individual and family counselling, support groups, as well as rest and revive activities for all ages. All our activities are designed to raise mental health awareness and provide assistance to Carers.
Get Support from HelpingMinds®
Would you like to know more about free and confidential mental health carer services and how we can support you? Please feel free to contact HelpingMinds® via the form below or on (08) 9427 7100. For one of our team to get back to you, we will require your email address and/or phone number. Please know all information provided will be treated completely confidential and in line with our privacy policy.
