There’s more to say after “R U OK?”
R U OK? has become a well-known phrase in our community. We know that the willingness to have a conversation could save a life.
But, what do you say when someone responds “Actually, I am not so good”.
It’s common to be stumped by this response and sometimes the fear of not knowing what to say, can stop us from asking.
Here are some key points that can help when someone says “ I am NOT okay”.
- Remember, you are not there to fix the problem, a listening ear is all that is required
- Being present and supportive is more important than having all the answers
- Acknowledge what they have told you, say “I didn’t know you felt that way, thank you for telling me”
- Ask some questions, “How long have you felt this way?” “Do you know why you are feeling like this?” “Have you told anyone else?”
- Avoid brushing off their response, comments like “You’ll be right” can result in people not opening up in the future
- Refer them to a professional such as a GP and offer to help them make the appointment, drop them off at the appointment or to attend with them
- Remember that knowing someone else’s struggles, doesn’t make you responsible
- Offer to be there when they need support and check in with them at a later date
- Remember that you need to ask “R U OK?” all year round – not just today
If someone close to you is struggling with their mental health, it can be very overwhelming and stressful.
That’s where we come in.
HelpingMinds® provides free and confidential support to people with a loved one living with mental ill-health. Support includes counselling, support groups and education. To find out more, contact us on (08) 9427 7100 or visit www.helpingminds.org.au
If you need immediate support contact Lifeline on 13 11 14
