Patrick tells his story of how mental illness affected his family and him as a carer
“I felt very confused because her mental health issue came on very suddenly as a result of a car accident. Jude was really depressed and very anxious and I didn’t know how to deal with that. That was the hardest part, not knowing what was actually happening with her.
We had two kids just started high school at the time and obviously I had to step up and look after them a lot more. They really connected well with their Mum and that connection was sort of lost for a while. I couldn’t stay at work because I felt as though I needed to be home because there were times when I felt that Jude wasn’t coping at all.
She was very intensely unwell, it was really just in survival mode and to keep the family going. People need to find some support as early as possible you know when their loved one is diagnosed with a mental health issue. Going to HelpingMinds and getting some counselling getting put in touch with other carers, who are in the same boat. Its changed not just my life but it’s changed my wife’s life as well.
You might have a lot of friends and family but you are actually very alone, it is only when you go to a place like HelpingMinds really that you actually feel as though you are not alone.
You know we are still together we came through this as a family. I don’t know it that would have been the case if I had not gone to HelpingMinds and got that help. Over the years Jude has recovered a heck of a lot. I am just happy and we are happy that we actually got through it. We are doing alright. I look after myself a lot better there are things that I like. We have music playing 24/7 in the house, because music is what relaxes us both. Our dog Bob, we would be lost without him. Pottering in our garden, we both love to potter in our small but very filled garden area. Now I’ve actually got back to my old self, prior to Jude’s accident. I am just over the moon with HelpingMinds and I do all I can to support them because they change peoples lives, they absolutely do.”
It builds you up again, it builds your confidence up. I think that they saved my life, not in a physical sense but just the life that we were living looked like it was going nowhere fast.